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sex in a text :: sexting

9 Apr

When I started learning about sexting, I thought it was people CHOOSING to post pictures of themselves online in a sexy, provocative manner, half-naked or completely naked. I have come to understand, it is so much more than this.

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We live in a cyber world where people’s identities are Facebook, Instagram, Twitter identities and people’s friendships are online more than face-to-face friendships. What we look like online can sometimes become more important than who we really are. We can become obsessed with how many likes or comments we get on our status update or a picture we just posted. The thing with this cyber world is we can say or post things online that we wouldn’t necessarily say or show others in real life. The freedom that an online identity brings can sound great but it can be quite risky.

 

Taking sexual images of yourself and sending them through text or online is dangerous. No one has control of where it will go. You may decide to take the photos down from the Internet site you posted them on, but they still will always be online somewhere. 88% of self-made sexual images (sexual sefies) end up on pornographic websites. Your sexting photos may end up on a porn website. This can have a big impact on your future.

 

If you are taking, sending or receiving naked or sexual pictures of yourself or others & you are under 18 years of age, that is an offence and you can be convicted of child pornography. Depending on the laws in your state you could end up on the sex offenders list which will have a massive impact on your future, especially when looking for jobs.

 

Before you post or share a sexualised picture of yourself or someone else either through text, email or online, please stop and think before you press “send” where this photo may end up. You really have no control on it.

 

Have you experienced sexual harassment or sexual bullying? Research shows that sexting is fast becoming sexual harassment and bullying. Girls are feeling pressured to perform sexual favors even if they don’t want to because that are constantly being asked on a daily basis to perform sexual favours. If girls say no, they are bullied and guys threaten to say horrible things about them publicly to destroy their reputation. If girls say yes to performing sexual favours, guys may take a picture of their online conversation post in on Facebook to show everyone the girls sexual availability. What is also concerning is guys are storing up sexual picture of girls in their phone and using it as a popularity tool, “look at all the girls I can get if I want to”, its all about being approved of by your peers. & this is at the expense of a girl’s sexuality.

 

A message to the girls: You are MORE than being someone’s sex object. You don’t need to display yourself as “sexy” or provocative to be accepted. You are not a commodity to be bought or sold or to be traded by guys to get “ratings” or peer approval. You are an individual with unique value. You are capable, intelligent and able to make a positive impact in people’s lives. Don’t allow anyone to sell you short of that.

 

If you are experiencing sexual violence or bullying, especially through social media, I am strongly encouraging you to talk to someone about it. This is real and it is wrong. Regardless if you or others think it’s harmless. We need this generation to stand up and say enough is enough, we should not have to be sexualised in this way.

 

& if you are a parent or involved in a young person’s life, please create an open conversation for them to talk about their sexuality & their experience in the world they live in. This is your opportunity to speak TRUTH and offer a counter culture message to this hyper sexualised culture we are living in.

 

What do you think about sexting? Comment below.

 

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Things you may not know about Sexually Transmitted Infections

20 Jun

Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs) are rampant. There are at least 20 different types of STIs identified, with 40,000 new cases of HIV/AIDS each year compared to 4 MILLION new cases of the bacterial infection Chlamydia.

  1. STIs are more common for women than men
  1. Teens are at high risk of contracting an STI due to their lack of knowledge on what sexual behaviour is ‘risky’.
  1. There is no treatment to eliminate Genital Herpes and Genital Warts, only treatment to manage symptoms & minimize/prevent recurrences.
  1. Herpes can increase the risk of the HIV Infection.
  1. Chlamydia (most common & increasing STI) often has no symptoms, known as the ‘silent disease’, which is why it can be left untreated.
  1. STIs left untreated can cause serious health problems & infertility.
  1. Condoms are not entirely effective in preventing STIs . Direct skin contact may result in transmission.
  1. STIs can be passed to a baby before and during birth.
  1. Being infected with an STI can have a significant impact on an individual’s sexuality and relationships.

10. STIs are transmitted through unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex.

 

There is no such thing as ‘safe sex’. To truly protect yourself from an STI is through abstinence only. If you have been sexually active, a good step forward to protecting your health is to get yourself tested.

 

 

Resources

www.avert.org/

http://www.who.int/topics/sexually_transmitted_infections/en/

http://attainfertility.com/article/std-infertility-part-one

Girls Talk

6 Aug

 

As a teen, what is it that you wish someone would tell you about sex, dating and relationships?

I recently came across an article by The National Campaign & Seventeen about what girls have to say about sex, love and relationships.

It had some helpful advice that I’m sure many of us past the teen years wished someone told us when we were teenagers! Hope it helps some of you who are going through the wonderful and fun but very challenging “teen” years!

Advice for teen girls

It’s OK to WAIT! It’s okay to be a virgin when you graduate from high school. Don’t give in to the pressure to “get it over with”.

Pressure is real and so is REGRET.

Use protection every time. No excuses!
Getting pregnant, contracting a Sexually Transmitted Infection (STIs) or HIV is not worth the RISK!

Having sex for the first time is a BIG DEAL but it’s rarely a fairytale.
It’s not as glamorous as the movies make out.

Parents are important. Don’t be afraid to talk to them about the personal stuff.
Most girls want to talk to their parents about this stuff during high school and even after finishing school.

Most girls would change something about their romantic lives in high school if they could.
43% who already had sex wished they waited longer.

Don’t do something that makes you uncomfortable just to please a guy.
Set your limit and say no.

You can say no, even if you’ve said yes before.
You don’t have to have sex with someone just because you’ve done it before.

There is no need to stress about falling in love, it will happen someday.

Its better to break up than stay in a relationship that’s bad for you.
You can find better, even if you don’t believe it right now.

Don’t spend your time worry about trying to impress boys.
Spend your time trying to be the best person you can be.

Its important to have guys in your life that you are “just friends” with.

Its not cool to tease someone for not having any or enough sexual experience.

Not EVERYONE is having sex. Less people are having sex than you actually think are.

Most people who “hook up” with someone in the hope that it will turn into something more regret doing so.

Set boundaries when it comes to sex and hooking up. Don’t be influenced or manipulated by the guy, your friends or the environment you are in.

Don’t ever do something you are not comfortable with just to please a guy. You will regret it, especially when that becomes not enough to please him.

Believe in yourself & be confident in who you are!

For more information about the article “Girl Talk” visit http://www.thenationalcampaign.org/resources/pdf/pubs/girl-talk.pdf

Screen Your Movies

3 Jan

To anyone out there who would like to know how to screen movies before they watch them, there is a great website that does this for you….. http://www.imdb.com provides detailed descriptions of movies for the viewers benefit.

Scroll down to “PARENTS GUIDE” for a detailed description on Sex & Nudity, Profanity, Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking, Frightening/Intense Scenes. This is way helpful, particularly if you are taking young people to the movies.

It is also an App for ipad and iphone which is free. http://www.imdb.com/apps

There is no excuse now for not knowing about a movie before you watch it 🙂

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