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WHAT IS IT ABOUT CONVICTIONS?

5 May

“If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything.”

What do I believe in?
What is most important to me?
What do I not want to compromise on?

If you can answer these questions, you will know what you have a conviction about. Or in other words, what you believe in or want for your life.

Lately, I have been thinking about how having a conviction is actually harder to live out than having no conviction about something. See I thought it would be easier if you have a conviction, you know what you want and you just do it.

But I have realised that having a conviction is actually harder to live out than having no conviction. Why? Human nature has this tendency to compare ourselves to others and to want to fit in. This often looks like going with the majority, doing what the crowd is doing and not wanting to stand out. In other words, we don’t want to be different.

 

We question who we are when we look to others through the eyes of comparison.

Ok so let’s just accept it. Having a conviction requires us to:

Go against the popular thing to do

Rub up against opposition (could be the battle in your head or with other people)

Live true to who you really are

If we don’t stand for what we believe in, we are trying to be someone we are not. There is no freedom in that.

Live out what you really believe & staying true to who you are. This is where we will find true freedom.

We are designed to stand out & make a difference with our lives.

A light in darkness :: contrast :: opposite :: change agent :: freedom

Shine your light. Be you.

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“Why I’m not doing it….”

16 Jan

“God designed sex, he believes in sex but God also wants to protect us and not see us hurt.”

“My parents were very open about their past experiences and mistakes they made about their sexuality. They wanted us to learn from their mistakes rather than learn the hard way. Parents honestly want what’s best for us. My parent’s influence on my choice to wait to have sex until I’m married wasn’t forced upon me or shoved in my face. They told me their stories, the good things and their regrets, and I was able to decide myself. I am so thankful they shared their experiences with me.

A lot of my friends were indifferent about when it was okay to have sex. At 15, most of my friends were sexually active. I watched my girl and boy friends regret the sexual relations they had. They thought they loved someone and shared something with their sexual partners that they could never get back. I cannot tell you one friend who did not regret their first time.

At 17, I made the decision to not have sex until I was married. Then I met my first boyfriend and we dated for a year. We decided to not have sex because of our faith but this definitely was not easy to do, especially when all my friends were sexually active.

It wasn’t enough that the bible says ‘not to have sex before marriage’ to be my reason for waiting – I need to find out the whole story for myself. I searched out the scriptures to find out WHY the bible encourages us not to have sex until marriage. God designed sex, he believes in sex but God also wants to protect us and not see us hurt. Sex within marriage is how we can be safe and secure because marriage is designed for the long term.

Sex impacts a person intellectually, emotionally and socially. On top of the risks of picking up a sexually transmitted infection (STIs), getting pregnant or contracting HIV/AIDS, we are chemically connecting with people when we have sex and the more partners we have the less we are able to connect with one person. I would rather wait and form that strong bond with the one person I spend the rest of my life with.

Our sexuality is beautiful but its up to us to learn about it. We are all dealing with the same issues so why not talk about it?”
Cheryl, 22 yrs.

What is your story??? Email sexthewholestory@hotmail.com and let us know if you are comfortable to share it with others through this blog.

Frame Your Life: Part III

23 Oct

Guard your heart

for out of it flows

the issues of life

Frame your life with what you want, don’t let others do it for you.  What your life will look like will depend on what you are willing to let in your life and what you will not accept.

IDENTITY IS NOT JUST ‘US’

Some of us when we get into a relationship can loose who we are. We don’t like what we used to like and we don’t do what we used to do. Our values, goals and vision for our life changes to be like the person we are dating.

Your individual identity is so unique, don’t loose it just because you are in a relationship. You are a person outside of your relationship.

CHEATING

Not a nice word hey. Betrayal. Disloyalty. Deception. Also not nice words. Unfortunately though, it is some people’s reality.

What are you boundaries around cheating? Is it ok if they were sorry? Blind drunk and didn’t know what they were doing? Ok because the other person took advantage of your partner or you? What about if you were on ‘a break’? Or if you don’t get caught, is that ok then?

If he/she cheated on you once, how will you know they won’t do it again? If you were cheated on while you were dating, why wouldn’t it happen when you’re married?

Faithfulness starts while dating & continues on through marriage. Marriage doesn’t fix someone’s faithfulness. It’s an active choice to be faithful.

KEEP YOUR FRIENDS

Ever had a friend that’s dropped you to hang out with their new boyfriend/girlfriend Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday! Before they know it….they haven’t spoken to you in weeks! What’s with that?!

You can have the relationship and keep your friends. It’s a choice and a wise choice to make cos what happens if you break up down the track and you have no friends to turn too?

Also, don’t be so insecure that you both have to be joined to the hip. You have goals, dreams, friends, family, education, work, hobbies and interests (just to name a few). There is GOLD inside you. Be confident in who you are as a unique one-of-a-kind individual. If you break up, your world won’t fall apart. There is so much more to you than just your relationship.

SECOND BEST

Why do people settle for second best? They are not prepared to wait for the right person, they don’t believe there is anyone better out there or they don’t believe they will find someone else, they would rather be ‘with someone’ than be alone or they think they can change or fix the person. Whatever the reason, it is generally motivated by personal fears and insecurities.

You are WORTH far more than to just settle for second best! Settling for second best is simply not trusting that there is better out there for you.

To avoid settling – know what you want and be prepared to wait. Go, hang out and get to know people but don’t jump into the first relationship on offer without considering if that person is right for you. View my post on ‘Is this person the ‘right’ one for me?’ for thoughts on knowing if they are the right one.

In the long run, you will be thanking yourself that you waited and are with the right person and happy.

VERBAL & EMOTIONAL GARBAGE

The words we speak have an impact on people’s lives around us. Sometimes we can tend to take for granted and not appreciate the people closest to us. Nevertheless, it’s not an excuse to mistreat people.

Maybe you find yourself in a relationship that is not very encouraging. Things might be great sometimes but other times it can get nasty…you might cop verbal, emotional or physical abuse. Regardless of the circumstance, abuse is NOT ok. It can start with name calling when an argument erupts and can lead to so much more.

If you are experiencing physical abuse, get out of that relationship now! It is not always an easy thing to do, so tell someone and ask for help. Don’t do it alone.

Draw a line on what verbal or emotional abuse you will or will not tolerate. E.g. should a girl accept being called a ‘bitch’ by her boyfriend?

Be aware of what emotional manipulation is. It is playing with your emotions so the other person can get what they want. E.g. “If you don’t have sex with me, you don’t love me.” You can love someone and not have sex with them.

GIRLS should be treated with value, respect and honour. GUYS should be treated with value, respect and honour. There is no difference if you are a guy or a girl. People are incredibly valuable and deserve respect and honour.

SHARING WITH YOUR FRIENDS

What do you tell your friends about your partner or relationship? Be careful how much intimate and personal information you share about your partner. They are telling YOU because they are building a trusting relationship with you. What they tell you is not always for you to tell others. Why break the trust that you have been working hard to build? It’s much harder to build trust back up again when it has been broken. We are often only vulnerable to one or a few people in our lives because we trust them. Don’t take that trust for granted.

& hey, why do we like to bag out our partners ex’s? Or our ex’s new partners? We think it will make us feel better but who really feels good after tearing someone else apart with horrible words. It doesn’t make us look good, in fact we look hurt, insecure or jealous. And here’s another thought, the ‘ex’ could actually be a nice person! Gossip is no conversation builder and doesn’t make anyone feel encouraged or empowered. You can be the bigger person – don’t go there in your conversations.

Frame Your Life: Part II

11 Oct

Guard your heart

for out of it flows

the issues of life

How do you guard your heart emotionally?

Truth is relationships are emotional. Being with someone or breaking up with someone does affect us emotionally. It only doesn’t affect us when we don’t care about the other person or we are not emotionally involved e.g. we are with them for other reasons aside from emotional connection such as sex.

So what does guarding your heart look like when we are emotionally involved? How emotionally involved we get is the key.

MARRIED THEM IN YOUR HEAD?

If you have just started dating this guy for a week and you are so into him, you feel its so right you think you two will get married. You start thinking of the dress; you see if his last name goes with your first name, you start imagining what your kids will look like…. I would suggest that you have gone too far. You have gotten TOO emotionally involved TOO soon. What’s so bad about that? Well, say you don’t get married, you break up next week or next month, you are probably going to be a lot more heartbroken than if your mind didn’t go there.

If you “marry” the person in your head before you, he/she,  or your relationship is even ready to go there…. You will be set on making your relationship work even if they are not the right person. That is a lot of hard work.

I LOVE YOU

Hey boy! Hey girl! Do you say ‘I love you’ to every person you date? Why? Do you really love them? What makes your love for them different to the previous person you dated? What is special about this person compared to your ex?

The words ‘I love you’ carry weight; it means something significant to the other person, their heart lights up, they feel loved. Most people associate these 3 wonderful words with ‘unconditional’, ‘always’, ‘forever’. These words carry hope.

These 3 words are not often associated with ‘I thought I loved you but I really didn’t’ or ‘I don’t love you anymore’ or ‘love was just not enough – sorry’.

So next time you say those words, consider why you are saying them. Is it to get something from them or to make you feel better? Are you lonely and want someone to love you back? Do you really mean this now, tomorrow, long term? What makes someone special enough for you to say these 3 significant words?

Love is not just a feeling. We don’t always feel like loving someone. Love is also a choice.

ME & MY EX

Do you talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend about your ex’s? How much detail do you share?

This stuff is so not helpful for your current relationship. No one wants to know what their partner did with their ex. Why? Because they will always be thinking in the back of their head how is he/she different to me? Am I being compared?

Comparing yourself to your partner’s ex or comparing your partner to your ex will destroy your relationship’s uniqueness. Your current partner needs a fair shot at your friendship and caring for you – they don’t deserve to be compared.

TRUST & JEALOUSY

Do you trust completely or are you unable to trust? If you are unable to trust it is most probably because of jealousy or a previous bad experience where someone has betrayed your trust. Does your current partner display signs that you cant trust them or are you just fearful it will happen to you again? If it’s more in your head than in their behaviour, it’s so important that you guard your heart from this fear and not entertain thoughts of jealousy. Talk to your partner or a trusted friend about it and work through it. It’s not worth destroying a relationship over, particularly if he or she can be trusted.

Are you completely trustworthy or not to be trusted? What are you doing to suggest you can or can’t be trusted? E.g. hanging out with other girls one-on-one when you have a girlfriend doesn’t give your girlfriend much confidence in you. Can you trust yourself with such temptation?

Remember – people need to EARN your trust, don’t give it away too easily.

HANG OUTS

Is hanging out with a person of the opposite sex alone ok when:

(a) you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

(b) you are single & you don’t like the person your hanging out with but you think/know they have feelings for you?

If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, how is hanging out with someone else one-on-one helpful to your relationship? Is it going to put doubt in your partner’s mind? Why would you want to do that? A healthy relationship is based on trust. If you have a great trusting relationship, don’t wreck it.

If you are single & you don’t like the person you’re hanging out with but you think/know they have feelings for you, why are you hanging out with them one-on-one? Are you leading them on only to break their heart when you tell them your not interested?

Do you like the attention? It’s probably not a fair reason to lead someone on & your time could be better spent focusing on being secure within yourself.

I like their friendship. That’s awesome but you can always keep the friendship and avoid the awkwardness or heartache when they know your not interested by hanging out in groups instead. No one likes to know that they were lead on only to be smacked in the face with ‘I don’t like you like that’, especially when they thought you were interested.

Guarding our hearts makes us secure individuals, confident in who we are and our identity.

Stay tuned for Part III.

How else can you guard your heart in relationships? What would you like to know about? Would love to know your thoughts. Comment below or email sexthewholestory@hotmail.com

Frame Your Life: Part I

28 Sep

GUARD YOUR HEART
FOR OUT OF IT FLOWS
THE ISSUES OF LIFE 

 

When it comes to friendships, dating and relationships……. What is ok by you and what is not ok? How do you know things have gone too far? Where do you draw the line? Do you just go with the flow or are you certain about what you want?

What is a boundary?

A boundary is a balcony in a high-rise apartment to protect people from falling over the edge.
A boundary is a yellow line at a train station platform for people to stand behind to stop people from falling onto the tracks or get hit by an oncoming train.
A boundary is a signed marriage document, the public declaration to spend your life with one other person only for the rest of your life.

A boundary frames something; it makes a clear distinction between one thing to the other, it tells you how far to go and when you’ve gone too far. A boundary draws the line between what is acceptable and what is not acceptable, what is safe and not safe, what is healthy and what is unhealthy.

Boundaries can help us. They can protect others and us from getting hurt. Boundaries can allow us to experience the fullness of life – an abundant life. Think of a playground; once the playground boundary is established, it is clear where a kid can play and where it is out of bounds.

The good thing about creating boundaries is YOU can set your own. You choose who and what you let inside your ‘house’ and what you will keep out. Its kind of like ‘guarding your heart’…..you choose who and what you let into your heart and who and what you don’t. Throughout your life there will be thousands if not millions of choices to make, particularly when it comes to friendships and relationships. Choose WISELY. Give yourself the freedom to decide what you will allow in your heart and what you will leave at the front door.

What boundaries do you have in your life?

Is kissing a good friend a ‘no go’?
Is having a one-night stand ok with you?
Is sleeping with your boyfriend or girlfriend off limits?
Is cheating on your partner debatable?
Is taking back your partner who cheated on you dependable?

Its all too easy to go with the flow when it comes to our friendships and relationships…..do whatever feels good at the time without giving a second thought to our actions and our behaviours. At times we can get caught up in the moment and it might seem too hard to stop. Sometimes we can think we have not harmed ourselves or others and other times our ‘in the moment’ behaviour can get us in trouble, destroying relationships and hurting ourselves and others.

How can I set boundaries in my life?

It starts with the basics…. how would you like to be treated? Treat others that way.

  • What behaviours display respect to yourself? What behaviours display respect to others? What doesn’t?

E.G. You’re hanging out with a group of guys and they want to take photos of you doing sexy poses and maybe even some shots with your top off. Does this behaviour respect you? Are these guys displaying respect towards you?
What boundary do you have about your body? Available to anyone or off limits and reserved for that special someone only?

  • What is valuable to you? Another way of putting it is, what is important to you?

E.G. You have a close friend who you really don’t like in that way but you’ve had a few drinks at a party and you are feeling a bit lonely. Is it ok to sleep with your friend? Even if there are no feelings on both sides and its only a one-night thing?
If you value your friendship with this person and don’t want to hurt them or confuse your friendship with sex, you may have a boundary about keeping friends as friends and nothing more.

E.G. You’re in a relationship and you are not ready to have sex with your partner. So how far is too far? If you haven’t thought about that, you might find yourself in the heat of the moment and not know how to stop.
A boundary will help you clearly know what you are ok with and what you aren’t. Being uncomfortably explicit and writing out what is ok and what is out of bounds will help you and your partner keep within that boundary.

Sticking to them & living them out – Making boundaries come ALIVE.

Actions are always harder than speaking mere words. Many people can talk the talk but not many can walk the walk. It may not be the easiest thing to do but in the long run, you will be better for it and glad you stuck to what was important to you.

Look at the boundaries you have in your life and think about what steps you can take to live your boundaries out. What actions will you take? Who will you speak to for advice or accountability? Living out your boundaries will make your friendships and relationships a lot simpler and easier to enjoy.

Let’s take Joe and Mary’s relationship as an example. They have been dating for a few months and really like each other but they both strongly value their sexuality and want to save sex together for marriage. To keep what is important to them they need to set boundaries on their physical relationship.
How do they do that?

Firstly, they need to talk to each other about what is important to them in their relationship. What physical activity is ok and not ok? Where can their hands go and where can’t they go? What kissing is ok and what kissing is out of bounds? How will they know if they go too far? What will they do when things get heated? Who will they speak to if they want to get advice? Both of them need to AGREE on these things, as agreement is the first step in setting a boundary.

Secondly, they can do things that will make it easier for them to stick to their boundaries. For example, avoid being home alone together, sleepovers or holidays and sitting in the car late at night. All these things will tempt them to do things they may wake up the next morning regretting.

Thirdly, they can make themselves accountable to someone they respect and trust and this person can provide support and give them advice when they need it. It totally helps when someone encourages us to keep going and reminds us what is important to us, especially when we are feeling discouraged.

Finally, they don’t need to beat themselves up if they make a mistake and cross a boundary. Refocusing on their vision and what’s important to them and continuing to work towards it is way more beneficial. No one is perfect. It doesn’t matter how many times a person falls, what matters is if they pick themselves back up again.

What is important to you?
What do you value?
Decide on these things.
Choose what is right for you.
Guard your heart.
Frame your life with what you want.

What boundaries do you have? I’d love to hear them. Email sexthewholestory@hotmail.com

The big ‘M’ word….

9 Sep

Yep, bet you all thought it was Marriage. I’m actually talking about Masturbation.

Masturbation is the physical act of relieving sexual tension without requiring a partner.  Many people do it. Not many people talk about it. That’s why I’m talking about it.

People can believe masturbation is harmless. It is not hurting anybody and it’s self-pleasurable. BUT just because it may seem harmless does not mean it’s helpful. Many things in life can seem harmless but indeed are not helpful to our growth and development.

Masturbation can be unhealthy when….

* It becomes a habit, as habits can be hard to break. Masturbating can become obsessive and addictive. It can dominate your thoughts and behaviours and it can become all you want to do.

* You are fantasising in your mind over people or a person you shouldn’t be thinking about in that way. Fantasising can create a craving for that person in an intense sexual way.

Some things to think about…..

What are you looking at?
What you look at can influence what you desire. E.g. if you have a picture of a hot girl on your folder, your attraction and desire for her will increase the more you look at her. The more you look at her, the more you will desire her and when there is desire, there is sexual arousal. Pornography or movies with a high level of sexual content as well as reading books that detail sexual experiences in the storyline, can make a person sexually aroused.

What are you thinking about?
‘So a man thinks, he is.’ What you focus your mind and thoughts on, you will become. It will be your focus and your vision. E.g. if you think about chocolate cake, all you will want to do is eat chocolate cake. The more you think about it, the more you will want to eat it. The greater this desire, the greater the effort you will go to, to eat chocolate cake.

Who are you fantasising over? If it’s not your partner, you are on dangerous ground. Fantasising about anyone else who is not your partner will not help you stay faithful. You will eventually prefer the relationship you are having in your head to your real-life relationship in reality. Because the fantasy world is not real, it will stimulate you in a way that your partner is not able to. Eventually you will prefer your fantasy relationship, as your real-life relationship won’t be able to compete with the relationship you have created in your head.
Can you be faithful to the person you are with, if you are fantasising over someone else in your head? Harmless it may seem (because nobody knows what you are thinking but you) but harmful it really is. Being unfaithful starts in the mind before is becomes a behaviour.

Why are you doing it?
Some people do it to relieve sexual tension, some people do it to experiment with their body and find out how it all works. Other people do it because they are lonely or feel bad about themselves and they want to make themselves feel better.

Think about why you are doing it. Is it healthy or unhealthy for you? Do you find you can’t stop? Are you doing it to cover up something deeper you don’t know how to deal with? Masturbation won’t help you deal with feelings of loneliness, depression, anxiety or unworthiness.Dealing with something hard like this can be easier when you’re working it out  with someone else. Speaking to a trusted adult or professional counsellor could help with that. For your futures sake, it’s worth dealing with now rather than later.

“It’s fine now because I’m single”. You can’t assume that you will be able to stop when you get into a relationship or that your partner will be fine with you continuing to masturbate. A relationship does not change things or solve all our problems. In fact the opposite happens, all our problems come to the surface when 2 people come together. Also, who wants to be with someone who isn’t satisfied with them that they have to go off to satisfy themselves alone?

If it has become a habit or an obsessive addiction that needs to be addressed there is good news! Developing and exercising self-control can help you tackle this area of your life. It is possible and here could be some strategies….

  • Cut out the things you are looking at and control your thinking patterns – don’t let your mind wonder. The minute your mind starts wondering, stop the thought and do something different.
  • Go to bed early and avoid staying up late surfing the Internet with no purpose.
  • Remove the computer and TV from your room.
  • Don’t stay in bed longer than you need to.
  • Stop watching movies, youtube and music video clips with high sexual content – change the channel!
  • Throw out magazines or novels with sexual content.
  • Remove the safari app from your iphone and install an Internet protection app instead.
  • Socialise with friends more and spend less time alone by yourself at home, especially if that’s your weak spot.

Being accountable, humble and transparent and allowing someone to walk the journey with you can help you gain control of this area of your sexuality. What has helped you? Email sexthewholestory@hotmail.com


Is this person the ‘right’ one for me?

30 Aug

Bianca, 17 yrs, dates any guy who shows the slightest interest in her without giving a second thought if he is a great guy or if the relationship is going to work.

Matty, 18 yrs, has a few girls really into him and doesn’t know which one he should date. Does he pick one or date them all to see which one is ‘right’ for him?

Crystal, 24 yrs, hasn’t been in a relationship for years because she believes she hasn’t met anyone right for her. But does she actually know who is ‘right’ for her?

John, 20 yrs, has been in a relationship  with Sarah for a year but is not sure she is the right girl for him.

Ever found yourself thinking “How do I know if this person is the ‘right’ one for me?” or “What should I be looking for in a boyfriend/girlfriend?” Working this out before getting involved with a person can save you time, effort, energy and unnecessary heartache, especially if that person is indeed not the ‘right’ one for you.

So, how do you know? Here are some thoughts to think about….

Does this person bring out the best in me?
People influence us in either positive or negative ways. Some people influence us to step out of our comfort zone and encourage us to do things we never thought we could do. Some people influence us to do things that we don’t feel comfortable doing and may regret later. Stop and ask yourself if this person makes you want to be a better person. Do they inspire you to be the best person you can be? If yes, they could be a keeper.

How well do I know this person?
Sparks are flying, the chemistry is thick, the feeling is amazing and you both want to make it ‘Facebook official’. But how long have you know this person for? A night, a few weeks, a month??? Do you know their last name, their favourite food or anything about their family??? Why is that important?

Building a friendship first is the best way to get to know what a person is all about. Over time you can see how a person does life and how they handle the good, the bad and the tough seasons. When everything goes wrong or they are going through a rough patch, do they run away from their problems or do they face them head on and deal with it in a mature way? A person’s true character comes out over time. Its worth taking the time to find out what they are really like before jumping in headfirst.

What type of a friend is this person to others?
How they treat others is how they will treat you. If they are talking behind their friend’s backs, can you be sure they will not do the same with you? A person who values friendships and spends time investing into their friendships says a lot about how they will be in a relationship. Generosity with your time, words and effort goes a long way.

Sometimes it’s hard to forgive someone, especially if they have hurt you. But have you ever hurt someone and wanted his or her forgiveness? A person who writes off anyone who crosses their path in the wrong way will not have many long-term friends. The more you hang around someone the more chances they have of hurting you. The more chances they have of hurting you, the more opportunities you have to forgive. A relationship can’t last the distance without forgiveness.

Is this person a friend to my destiny?
People you allow into your life will either help or hinder your dreams. Who you hang around is who you will become. Being in a relationship will change you – for the better or the worst. Surrounding yourself with people who are supporting, encouraging and going in the same direction as you is key to achieving your destiny.

You can tell if someone isn’t really supportive about what you are doing. They don’t really show any interest in it or ask how you are going with it. They might persuade you to not go to footy training or the game or try and talk you out of staying home to study for that exam. This person is not a friend to your destiny. All the little decisions that you make, like studying for that exam that doesn’t seem like a big deal at the time, can have a big impact on taking you to where you want to go in the future.

Is this person easy to bring out & socialise with?
Dating is meant to be fun and a time where your social life expands to each other’s friends and family.

Are you worried about taking this person out because they won’t make an effort with your friends and you will have to babysit them all evening? Does this person just want to hang out with you and no one else? If you answered yes to 1 or both of these questions, then overtime your social life will be greatly impacted. This person may make you feel restricted, like you can’t be yourself or talk to who you want. Eventually, you may realise you don’t enjoy being around this person as much as you used to. If your partner doesn’t want you to hang around your friends or family, they are trying to isolate you. This is a BIG sign that your relationship is unhealthy. Get out before what is important to you is compromised to make them happy.

Does this person respect me?
Respect = acceptance & appreciation. To respect someone is to accept and appreciate who they are. It’s also about respecting a person’s decisions, beliefs and values. E.g. if you are feeling pressured to have sex and you don’t want to, your partner is not respecting you. If you are talked about behind your back, your partner is not respecting you.

Are your decisions, beliefs and values respected or is this person trying to change you? Respect is a key ingredient to a healthy relationship.
Looking for the ‘right’ person but haven’t found them yet??? Being single is a great time to focus on YOU. Many young people wish their single days away but you can use this time to focus on becoming the best person you can be – that’s so attractive! Don’t expect anyone to complete you because they can’t even if they tried. Instead, take responsibility for controlling your own destiny, waiting for someone to do it for you is a COMPLETE waste of time! Your life will only drift along unless you make something out of it. A confident person living a life doing what they love is so appealing. This time is precious and it won’t last forever. Give it your best and enjoy the season you are in.

And hey…one last thought. Remember a relationship is not just about you. It’s about putting your partners needs above your own needs. It’s about being selfless in your love, time and energy. If you’re not willing to put someone else’s needs above your own, then you’re not ready for a relationship, so don’t get into one. Stop chasing that guy or girl for their attention and spend that time focusing on you. It will be worth it in the long run.

Love to know your thoughts….post below or email sexthewholestory@hotmail.com

Have a great week!

🙂

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